Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end
by BlackForTheSakeOfSanity
Summary: Fred's best friend -after George of course- is helping him get over George's death who dies in the war. (instead of Fred dying like in the book, George died) Fred, on the other hand is just drinking to get his mind off George. Juliet is taking care of him and might possible fall in love. rated M for later chapters. Please review! even constructive criticism is welcome:)
1. Lost

_**Well, here you go.**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Juliet Felix and the plot.**_

_**Oh, by the way, if any one of you want me to write a fanfic with you in it with your favorite character hook up, PM me. As long as its related to Harry Potter and doesn't involve Fred. xD**_

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I watched as Fred downed the remaining contents of the third alcohol bottle.

'Fred please…' I whispered desperately, clutching his arm.

'Get away, Juliet!' he slurred. 'Let me… George…' he mumbled and threw another order at the bartender.

'No.' I said to the bartender, cancelling it. Fred looked at me with angry blood shot eyes. 'I said no, Fred. No more.' I told him firmly. Taking advantage of his drunk state I pulled him out of the bar by his arm. He staggered along, mumbling incoherent words. The snow came down in gentle, soft flakes as we walked down Diagon Alley. I held his arm close as he slightly leaned on me and we arrived, after what seemed like eternity, at the joke shop door.

'Keys.' I say to Fred while pulling around my jacket tighter. He slumps against the door and I sigh, fumbling in his pocket for the keys. I find them in his back pocket, along with his wallet, which I shove into my pocket for safety. In his state, it would be easy to lose things. I hear the familiar click as I turn the key in the lock and I pull him inside, into the darkness.

'_Lumos.'_ I murmur, taking out my wand and a faint bluish light illuminated the room. I help Fred up the staircase to the rooms above his shop and pull him into his room switching on lights along the way. I pull him into the washroom of his room and make him sit on the edge of the bath tub.

'I know its cold.' I talk to myself more than him, he cant understand me anyway. 'but you need to clean up.' He stenches of alcohol and sweat. I just hope he doesn't lash out at me… running hot water in the tub, I undress him to his boxers and dump the clothes in a corner, along with my pull over.

'George?' Fred looks up, searching for the reflection he would never see. Every time he takes his name, a part of me dies inside, knowing that his true happiness lay in someone who had left his side forever. I try to distract him by making him sit inside the tub and pour water over his head. After much difficulty, his body is as clean as I can manage and his hair, cleaner. I'm soaked in water, but that's okay. I have to shower anyway. With my help, he climbs out of the bath and leans on me as I help him to his cupboard.

'You're a good friend Julie.' He says, a bit sober after the bath. He fumbles for a pair of dry boxers and I turn around as he sheds the wet ones and puts on the fresh. Suddenly he runs to the washroom and bends over the toilet seat, bucking violently, vomiting out his insides. I rush to him and rub his back as he clutches his belly and gasps for breath.

'shhh… It's okay Fred.' I murmur soothingly as he calms down and his breathing normalizes. He groans and turns to wash out his mouth with 'Merlin Teeth Clean'.

I help him into bed and pull the covers till his chin. He closes his eyes and looks almost peaceful for a few moments. Ruffling his hair, I smile. 'No funny dreams, okay?' I whisper and he replies with a small smile. Just for me.

I leave the door open just a crack and walk into my room which was once the guest room. Before the war. Things had changed so drastically after it. Not all things had been happy, though that _had_ been the bigger picture. The people who had lost their family and friends, had greatly suffered. And some. They were still suffering. I undress and step under the hot shower, basking in its soothing caress of my body. My mind. I fall back, involuntarily, into the past.

_'Honestly woman, you call yourself our mother!' one of the red headed boys exclaimed. I giggled, watching them smirk at each other._

_'Oh those must be the Weasleys.' My mom smiled, piling luggage onto the cart. 'Nice lot.' She said absentmindedly, looking for my ticket in her purse. 'Now you be good at Hogwarts, young lady.' She playfully scolded me and I laughed._

_'Mum, honestly! That's the fifth time you're telling me!' I said pushing the cart through the wall._

_'well you are a cheeky little one at home aren't you! I'm just worried Professor Dumbledore doesn't kick you out the moment he finds out you are Mason Felix's daughter!' her eyes sparkled mischievously as we took in the scene at the Kings Cross station._

_I laugh. 'was he really that bad?' I ask, thirsty for some more knowledge about a father who I had never met. He died in an accident my mother never talked about._

_'Oh look! I reckon they have spotted Harry Potter!' she exclaimed, changing the topic effectively. _

I shake my head and squirt some shampoo on my head.

_Tears of mortification lined my eyes as the laughter slowly died away and everyone got back to what they were doing, in the Gryffindor common room. I tried to blink the tears away. A comforting arm rested on my shoulder. I looked up to see a bushy haired Hermione Granger. 'Its okay Juliet.' She said comfortingly. 'Everybody knows that was a whoopie cushion.' She turned to Fred and George and frowned. 'Honestly, she is just a first year! Pick on someone from your own year.'_

_'We didn't mean it Hermione.' They said in unision._

_'It was just kept there.' Said Fred._

_'Honest!' piped up George. Hermione rolled her eyes and walked away._

_'Sorry Miss Felix.' Said Fred in a deep voice. _

_'We offer our sincere apologies.' Says George in the same kind of voice and placed a hand over his heart._

_'We were only joking!' smirked Fred. I blushed then, not knowing what to say._

_'It's fine.' I mumbled quickly and turned to leave._

_'Oi. Juliet.' Said Fred. I turned around and he thrust a packet of Bertie's every flavor beans into my hand and gave me a huge smile. 'Come on then George.' He said, turning. 'Let us find a more appropriate target for this heavenly muggle device. _Someone from our own year_.'_

I finish washing my hair and turn off the water. After putting on my shorts and shirt I make my way to Fred's room to check on him. I light the fireplace, pick up the blanket he has thrown off the bed in his sleep and cover him with it once more. His eyelashes rest delicately on his cheeks, his lips are dry and I decide to take care of that tomorrow. I set his wallet on the bedside table and go to bed.

Getting in bed I set my alarm for 8 am and fall asleep, listening to the clock strike three.

I fling the clock at the wall and it shatters to pieces. I bury my head under the pillow. So... damn sleepy…

My door opens with a bang and my head snaps up.

'is everything okay?' says Fred groggily, trying to open his eyes. 'I thought I heard you fall…' he slumps against the wall, running fingers through his hair. I sigh and fling my legs off the bed, trying to ignore the piercing headache.

'it was just the clock.' I say pointing at it with my wand. 'Reparo.' The pieces fly back together and join. 'I'll be out in five and make you coffee.' I tell him and enter the washroom to brush my teeth.

'you're the best.' Says Fred and leaves the room. I sigh.

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'This has to stop.' I say quietly, and place the coffee in front of him then turn to finish making the scrambled eggs and bacon. The stove was a small black one Mrs. Weasley had gifted to Fred and George when they shifted here.

'What?' asks Fred, sipping his coffee.

I hesitate. 'This, Fred.' I tip the contents of the fry pan into two plates, keep them on the table and take a seat across him, not meeting his gaze. 'Your… drinking.' I look up. His jaw tightens and his lips become a thin line.

'Drop it Juliet.' He say in a low tone and pulls one of the plate toward him, stabbing a fork into the bacon.

'I mean it Fred.' I say more firmly and look right into his eyes. He looks into mine, irritated. I shift uncomfortable and look down at my plate. 'Its harming you.'

'No, thinking is harming me.' He says.

'Fred-'

'Stop it Juliet.'

'No! I'm bringing you home everyda-'

'Then don't!' he yells suddenly, pushing his chair back and standing up. 'Just don't okay?'

I get up too. 'And let you drink yourself to death?!'

'Yeah Juliet. Then maybe I'll feel better. When I finally die. Because that's all I want to do, get it? That's how you feel when you lose somebody you love. But you wouldn't know would you? Because you haven't lost anybody.' He says bitterly, like it's my fault, and turns to leave the kitchen.

'Yeah I have.' I say, tears stinging my eyes. 'You.' But he is already out of earshot. The shop door slams after five seconds and I slump back into the chair, sobbing.

The breakfast lies uneaten till I shove it into the fridge.


	2. Trying

After doing the dishes I make my way down to open the shop. Making sure everything is in order, I flip the sign from 'Dementor party inside, bad luck mate' to 'Gred and Feorge welcome you'. I sighed. Maybe I should change that, but that would just make George's absence more obvious.

Business was slow today, because of the report of the snow storm about to hit. Just a few customers came by. Soon it was noon and I put up the lunch break sign and shuffle into the downstairs kitchen to make coffee. Just then the bell tinkles.

'I'm sorry we're on break.' I call out, walking back to the front. 'Oh Luna!' I exclaim at the dreamy girl in a strange yellow outfit. Made out of canary feathers? I made a note to ask later as I hugged her.

'Hey Juliet, just thought I'd drop by and ask you how things are going.' She smiles, handing me a package wrapped in brown paper. 'I got you some muttlefup.' She says turning to the shelves and became amused by little Viktor Krum models going to the toilet right there. 'It's supposed to keep away klipinies.'

'Thank you.' I laugh and set the package on the counter. She turns back to me, with questioning eyes.

'Well?' she asks simply. I can feel the concern in her voice. I sigh and sit down on a chair.

'Its… fine.' I tell her. 'He's just… you know, healing.'

'Really?' she raised her eyebrow. 'Because I could have sworn I just saw him at Tom's bar having nonstop alcohol.'

'Right now?' I ask her. she nods. Tears sting my eyes.

'What should I do Luna?' I sniffle pathetically. 'I've tried everything.' She slips her arms around me and lets me cry for a bit before asking. 'Everything?' in a knowing voice. I nod.

'yes, Luna.' I sigh.

'Maybe there is something you are missing.'

'like what?' I ask, desperate to know, hoping she would know some magical way which would make everything go right. She shrugged. 'I don't know but I'm sure there is.' She said simply. I sigh and slump back down in my chair, hopes extinguished.

'How are you doing?' I ask her suddenly noticing her eyes don't seem as bright.

'I'm doing okay.' She smiled. 'Just… hey if you kind of…' she hesitats. 'liked someone who wasn't really accepted by anyone else because of his past, what would you do?'

I raise my eyebrow. 'Who is he?' I ask. She shakes her head.

'Just answer the question.'

'It would depend, really, on what are the reasons everybody excludes him. But then again if he has changed for the better, it shouldn't matter.' I shrug. She smiles. Just then the bell tinkles and Fred walks inside, slightly unsteady on his feet.

'Hey Luna!' he says a bit too enthusiastically. 'Fancy some pooping Krums?' he laughs. Luna smiles back.

'Maybe another time Fred.' She says. 'I really must get going.' She hugs me and says goodbye to us, leaving I think, feeling a little better. The awkwardness is heavy in the air, now that Fred and I are alone. I turn around and walk back to the kitchen. 'Coffee?' I ask him as he follows me inside.

'Julie…' he hesitates and then his arms slip around my waist from behind me, pulling me into one of his bear hugs I so love. The git. He knows I can't be angry now. 'I'm sorry.' He whispers against my cheek and for some reason my heart stops. At the way he said it. A whisper. So close. I turn by head a bit and our noses almost touch. His eyes looking right into mine. 'I…' I say, without realizing I'm speaking, only conscious of the speed at which my heart is beating. His arms become more firm around me. 'I'm sorry I said all that J…' there is slight alcohol on his breath.

'Its… its okay.' I manage to get out. He smiles and the sparkle in his eyes flickers back on for only a few seconds.

'Thanks.' He says and pulls my cheek real hard. The spell is broken.

'Ouch! You absolute git!' I yell and smack him on his arm. He feigns being hurt and then laughs while running back into the shop. I stand there for a second, wondering what just happened and realize my heart is still beating hard.

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I tap my foot with worry, wondering where he has got to. I knew I should have gone with him. The blizzard is going to start soon and I pace about the shop. Its still six but its completely dark outside and most shops have closed down, including Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Suddenly a terrifying thought strikes me. What if he is lying drunk somewhere and the blizzard starts? He'll freeze to death. My heart jumps to my throat and I try to breathe normally as I hurry up to grab a few warm clothes for me to wear and to carry for him, too, just in case.

The cold air hits me like sharp knives as I step outside. It's hard to even lock the door and my fingers feel numb. I jog up Diagon Alley to try and feel a bit warmer. The lights at Tom's bar are dim and as I enter I realize there are hardly any people left. Tom is cleaning some glasses and just one customer is in sight. And he too, is under a heavy cloak so nobody can see his face.

'Hey Tom.' I say walking up to the counter.

'Looking for Fred?' he asks knowingly. I sigh and nod. 'well, he came here about an hour ago. But left, saying something about Argon.' He said keeping some glasses on the shelf behind him.

Argon, the village nearby. Why would he want to go there? Didn't he say he was getting us dinner? I bite my lip nervously, wracking my mind on where he might have gone. A quick glance out the window told me I needed to think fast.

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**_I NEED ME SOME REVIEWS D:_**

**_I have no idea how this is going so please, review! And tell me if you want to see more! I have a rough idea about what I'm going to put in the next chapter so it might come fairly fast If I get some reviews :D constructive criticism is welcome!_**

**_Oh and just a short note: I write fanfics for others. If there is anybody you want to be paired up with, PM me and I will get that done ^_^_**

**_(as long as that character is not Fred, he is all mine! xD_**

**_Snape: How grand it must be, to be the _**_**chosen one**_**_. *heavy sarcasm*_**

**_Me: yeah well at least I'm not heavily friend zoned._**

**_Snape: *flinch*_**

**_Me: aww I'm just kidding Snapey I love you! *bear hug*_**

**_Snape: please get away from me_**

**_Me: No. *holds tightly*)_**

**hey you! review. *narrows eyes***


	3. Longing

_**This chapter is dedicated to 0-MischiefManaged-0 because she gave me the review that motivated me to write the rest!**_

_**So thak you for that!**_

_**Hope it lives up to your expectations and I will update again soon. :D**_

Aargon. Hmmm… I walk outside and turn on my heels. A suffocating sensation later I'm standing in an almost empty street and the wind is blowing hard. I look around and everything is closed. Everybody has shut their windows tightly and drawn their curtains. The shops are closed and lights are off. Only a few street lights are on. I look into the distance and see a two story building with lights still on. Seems like a bar. Just then the first few snowflakes start to fall and I start to walk quickly toward it.

I hesitate before pushing the door open. It creaks loudly, alerting the two people sitting inside of my entrance. The bartender is pouring out firewhisky for the cloaked customer sitting in front of him. They look at me suspiciously.

'Hi. I'm looking for Fred Weasley?' I look at them hopefully but their face shows no sign of recognition.

'Sorry lady. Don't know anybody by that name. Would you like a room though? We're almost out so pick fast.' Says the bartender. 'You cant go home in that storm. Even the floo network will be blocked.'

Damn you Fred, I think angrily. 'No I would just like to know if you have seen Fred. Red hair, scar on eyebrow. Umm… owner of a joke shop?' I try desperately.

'Oh him!' the bartender laughs. 'Yep we got him. He is staying in one of the rooms. Room 7, miss. He was too drunk to go home.'

Relief floods through me. And anger. But mostly relief on him being okay. As okay as a drunk person could be. I thank them and run up the staircase and search for the right room. I finally find a door with a rusted number seven stuck to it. I hesitate before knocking. I wait but he doesn't open. 'Fred?' I call out but there is no response. I turn the knob and open the door. He is lying on the bed, legs hanging off the bed. I close the door. 'Fred.' I murmur, sitting beside him, his eyelashes are resting peacefully on his pale cheeks. His shirt is half undone and his lips are slightly blue. Damn he must be cold. I point my wand at the fireplace and it starts to crackle merrily. I suddenly realize I left the warm clothes at Tom's bar.

'Fred wake up.' I shake him by the shoulder. I take his hands in mine and rub his palms to warm them. 'Fred please…' i shake him more vigorously, terrified by the thought of something happening to him. What if he had passed out because of the cold? Suddenly his eye lids flutter open and he turns his head to look at me. 'Oh thank God!' I say and throw my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. 'I thought you were sick.'

'Juliet…' he says with a slight slur in his voice. I sit back up, anger coming back to me.

'And you're drunk.' I say tonelessly. His eyes widen as he tries to sit up. I get up and pace the room. 'I was so worried. And you were lying here drunk?!' I yell. He gets up and I turn away from him, hurt. 'Forget it.' I say quietly, tears welling up in my eyes.

'Juliet listen to me…' he says, taking my arm and turning me around by my arm. 'Please don't cry…' he whispers and cups my face with his hands gently. 'Listen.' He slurs. 'It... It was just one Firewhisky. I swear that was all I meant to have. Because I was cold. Really cold.' His pleading eyes look into mine and he runs his thumb across my cheek. 'And I got up to leave but Aaron came in. And… And he didn't… know… Juliet… He asked me… about him…' his eyes well up and he closes them, taking a deep breath to steady himself. A sob escapes his lips and he buries his face in the hollow of my neck. 'Please Juliet, I'm sorry.'

'Its okay,' I whisper, hugging him. A funny fluttering feeling in my tummy makes me uncomfortable and nervous. He cries silently for a few minutes as I wipe away his tears and his sobs quieten and I run my fingers through his hair. Soon he is breathing evenly and I can tell he has fallen asleep.

_I miss you Fred._

_I miss your laugh._

_I miss the annoying smirk that touched your lips when you managed to pull yet another prank on me._

_I miss the stories you would tell me about the strange things around the world._

_I miss your hugs._

_I miss the way you would bite your lip when George or I were angry at you._

_The endless time spent laughing over everything that moved._

_The delight on your face every time you would open the brown parcel and a Weasley sweater would tumble out._

_The twinkle in your eyes._

_I miss the way we would fight and make up in a matter of minutes._

_The concern in your eyes when I got my heart broken. That anger._

_The comforting murmurs in the dark._

_I miss that smile. The one that would make everything better._

_Fred… I miss you._

'I love you, Fred.' I whisper, clutching him closer, trying to fill that devoid in my heart, the longing for the old Fred. The one who had the ability to catch me every time I fell. To hold me steady every time I would be on the edge.

'I love you too, Juliet.' He whispers back and I suppress my surprise but my cheeks become warm.

'I mean… I…' I pause, struggling for the right words.

'I know what you mean,' he says and lifts his head slightly, touching his lips to my cheek. They linger for only a moment before he buries his face back into my neck and closes his eyes. His arms tighten around me.

'I thought you were asleep,' I whisper, as I feel my heartbeat quicken.

'Shh.' He says and flicks his wand once. The soft blanket covers us and soon I start feeling drowsy and at home in his arms.

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_**Please review!**_

_**Constructive criticism is welcome!**_


	4. Snowflakes

_**Okay i really hope you like it. Also tell me if i should put lemons into it or just change the rating to something more mild?**_

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I wake up abruptly because of a sharp pain in my arm.

'Ow…' my other hand flies to my arm and I feel Fred's hand, his nails digging into my flesh. I can hear his heavy rapid breathing.

'Fred.' I whisper, shaking him gently. I tap is cheek with my palm. 'Fred wake up.' His forehead is covered in sweat but he still feels cool. 'Fred!' I yell in panic. His grip on my hand loosens and he raises his head, his eyes half closed. 'Whats wrong?' I ask.

Nothing, why?' he says groggily.

'You are sweating, and you were gripping my arm tightly. Tell me, are you okay?' I sit up and turn on the lamp. His face is pale.

'I…' he hesitates. 'Nimare.' He mumbles.

'What?'

'J, I had a nightmare.' He sighs and sits up.

I pull him into a hug. His heart is beating rapidly. 'Want to share?' I ask gently. He shakes his head so I rub his back to calm him down and we sit like that for a bit till his eyes begin to close again and he rests his head on my shoulder which soon shifts to my lap and I stroke his hair, wishing with all my heart I could take away his pain. Soon his breathing is even once more and he is asleep.

I sigh and look at the clock. 5 am. I trace patterns gently on Fred's cheek. At least he was getting some sleep. My sleep was all gone. I pull myself out of his grip gently and swing my legs off the bed. Maybe a shower would help.

Hanging my clothes on the rack I step under the hot shower and run my fingers through my hair, breathing deep. As the water caressed my body gently and then flowed down, I felt like the stress was slowly leaving me. I close my eyes and lean my head back. I wish I could stand here forever. It's so soothing. Showers had always helped me. Usually cold ones, but in this weather, it was out of the question.

I massage shampoo into my hair and-

'J? Juliet?' I hear Fred's urgent voice.

'In here.' I call out. 'Be out in a minute.' I wash my hair quickly and pull on my clothes. I step out and the cold hits me like sharp knives. 'You okay?' I whisper to the figure sitting on the edge of the bed.

'You're up.' He says getting up and walking inside the washroom and grabbing the toothpaste.

'Yeah I couldn't sleep.' I say sitting on the bed and pulling the blanket around me tightly, wondering why Fred put out the fire. 'Are you sure you don't want to sleep a bit more?' I ask as he comes out, wiping his face with a towel. He throws it onto an arm chair.

'No I don't.' he says distractedly.

'Um... Okay then you better eat. We slept without dinner.' I get up and the chill hits me again. I breathe in sharply, and Fred looks up raising an eyebrow.

'I... I'm just cold!' I chatter pulling the sleeves of my sweater over my hands. 'Fred you're barely wearing anything!' I exclaim in horror, staring at the single shirt he is wearing. 'Let's go eat and find you something to wear.'

'No.' he says. I look up.

'What's wrong?'

'I… I want to go for a walk. It's almost six.' He hesitates. 'Like we used to.'

The memories flashed through my head. Fred and me out for a walk early morning. We both loved it. More than words could describe. The chirping birds, the twilight, the crisp cool air and no one around. The world was still sleeping and we were awake, taking in the calm beauty of it all. But that was another thing we stopped when the bad times started. The time of Voldemort. And after George died…

'Are you sure?' I ask, wondering what was behind this simple request. He nods and takes my hand, pulling me to the door.

'Wait! You're not wearing anything and it's very cold out there. We can't go like this. Let's ask the owner if he has anything for you to wear.'

Fred takes out his wand and takes the sleeve of my sweater in his hand.

'What-' I begin but he cuts me off.

'Engorgio.' He murmurs and the sweater becomes very loose on me. It becomes a small blanket and Fred pulls it on himself too. 'There, now we both will be warm.' He gives a small smile.

I giggle. 'I never thought of that.' I say as we walk out the room and his arm slips around my waist. The sleeves hang around us uselessly but it's roomy and comfortable.

The snow makes the most beautiful crunching sounds beneath our feet as we walk. It has stopped snowing. No one is out and about and that is the only sound we hear. Though I can hear Fred breathing like each breath is calculated. And my heart beating a billion times a minute. What is he thinking? I wonder looking up at the lines on his forehead. He smiles. 'Like old times isn't it?' he asks as we slow down under a tree and sit, leaning against the wide trunk.

'It is.' I say quietly. 'I...' I hesitate. 'I've missed this.' I look away, not wanting him to see just how much.

'Fuck J…' his hand rests on my cheek and tilts my head to look up at him. 'I've been meaning to say this for some time now. But every time I'm about to, I screw things up again.' His eyes close as if he is struggling for words.

'What is it?' I ask softly.

'I'm so sorry.' He whispers.

'For what?' I ask, my eyes widening in surprise.

He sighs, but his eyes look right into mine. 'I'm so sorry for everything J. For being the mess that I am. I know you've needed me. So many times. And I wasn't there for you. I was lying in some bar, drunk, while you worried for me endlessly. For yelling at you when it was no fault of yours. Heck I became a bloody vegetable. You were bathing me for God's sake. And what have I given you? More pain? Hurt? Problems? Juliet, I'm sorry for not being there to catch you when you fell. For being such a burden. I-'

'Hey,' I cut him off. 'Don't be like this. Don't. Okay? Fred you aren't a burden and you never were. I need you to understand that. Get it out of your head. And none of it matters. You are going through a hard time and it's okay. I'm here for you. I _want_ to be here for you. Fred it's me. This is _us_. We won't ever leave each other alone, remember?' I remind him of the promise we made back in my fifth year just before he left Hogwarts.

I feel some of the insecurity and doubt leave his eyes. 'Never?' he whispers.

'Never.' I echo firmly.

His hands cup my face gently. 'I need you to know. I'm not perfect. And I probably will make mistakes in the future. But I need you. I need you to stick around because…' he closes his eyes and sighs, opening them again. 'I've forgotten what it's like to be without you by my side. And hell, I don't want to face the torture of having to learn.'

'You won't have to.' I tell him softly.

'Can you promise me that?' he whispers.

'I promise.' What it is that's making him so insecure?

'I can't promise you I won't make mistakes. But I can promise you that I will never lie to you and will always be here for you.' Fred breathes against my cheek. Suddenly, he leans in even more and hesitates for only a second before his lips touch mine. I stiffen in surprise and partial shock. His right hand slips back into my hair and he deepens the kiss and I know he is aching for a positive response. My mind becomes devoid of coherent thoughts and I start to respond slowly. Encouraged by this, his tongue nudges at my lower lip tentatively and I grant him access, letting it explore each corner of my mouth gently, as my fingers slip into his hair.

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_**Please please review and let me know: Lemons or not?**_


	5. Anger and Blood with a Touch of Love

**_-Grins sheepishly- I'm sorry! But I had exams and some family issues, net issues and depression :( I hope I haven't lost any readers. And here is the lemon I promised! Really hope you like this chapter. Oh and I love Fred 3_**

He pulls away, breaking the kiss. 'And I promise to hold you,' he murmurs against my lips. His arms slip around my waist and he looks into my eyes. 'Remember, you promised to stay.' He says softly. 'Even if you…' he hesitates. 'Regret what just happened. 'I don't know how to interpret that racing heartbeat of yours.' He smirks and I blush.

'That should tell you how to interpret it!' I say poking his arm, hard.

'Ow ow!' he laughs. 'So it's a good racing heart?'

'Fred-' I start but his lips are on mine once more, cutting me off. This kiss is more urgent and he nibbles gently on my lower lip, pulling me closer by my waist. I cup his face gently and return the kiss with the same urgency, the longing inside me, taking over.

Our lips part and I feel a bit breathless. Fred's cheeks are flushed and he kisses my cheek shyly. 'So you are keeping your promise right?'

'Fred I've missed you so much.' I say quietly.

'I know J, I'm sorry. I really am.'

I rest my head on his shoulder. I know he will go into depression again. I know that. But things were getting better. It would lessen with time, wouldn't it?

Just then my tummy rumbles loudly and I cover it with my hands in embarrassment. Fred laughs. 'When was the last time you ate, bottomless pit?'

'I'll have you know, yesterday's coffee and biscuits were the last I ate.' I say sulkily.

'Come on,' he says getting up, pulling me with him. 'Let's get something to eat.' And his fingers slip between mine like it's the most natural thing in the world.

'We'll get something from Tom's. we have to open the shop.'

'Aww Jules.'

'Come on.' I say softly as I wonder what this meant for us now. Were we in a relationship? I was afraid to ask.

His hand is still in mine as we approach the shop door. I search out the keys from my pocket and open it up and trudge upstairs to dig in to the breakfast we bought. The light of the kitchen is on and my immediate thought is burglars but the smell of fresh bagels says Mrs. Weasley is visiting.

'Mom.' Says Fred blankly. My heart sinks as we walk to the kitchen. Visits from family were always the worst in him now. Last time when Ron came to visit, Fred managed to get through four bottles of wine and broke a chair.

But as we step into the kitchen, we realize it's empty. A plate of bagels is kept on the table and beside it, a note. Fred reaches for it and reads it. 'Came to remind you about dinner at the Burrow today but nobody was home.' He reads aloud tonelessly. 'Juliet is most welcome as always. Love, mum.'

He stands there motionless, staring at the note in his hand. The expression on his face incomprehensible.

'Fred?' I say tentatively.

'It's not fair you know.' He says expressionlessly and throws the note back on the table.

'What's not fair?' I ask softly.

'This, Juliet.' anger seeps into his voice and he turns around starts to walk out. 'That I have to face this. That he left me alone. That I am the one in pain.' He shouts to me and I hear the door of his room slam.

For the first time ever, I feel angry at him.

Did I mean nothing? Did he not just apologize for what he was doing again?

I storm to his room and kick the door. 'Do I mean absolutely nothing to you?! We… we kissed, Fred!' No answer. I kick again and stomp down to the shop.

An uneasy feeling creeps into my tummy. Moonlight pours in from the windows of the shop and I close the curtains and trudge upstairs for a shower to get rid of the dust from the store room.

I still have that uncomfortable feeling after my bath so I walk to Fred's room and knock softly. 'Fred? Are… are you okay?' I wait for a moment before opening the door slowly. 'I'm coming in.'

My eyes take a few moments to adjust to the darkness and I can see his silhouette on the bed. I walk to the bed and turn on the lamp. 'Fred?' I say quietly, noticing his eyes are open, staring at the ceiling without seeing. 'You're not asleep.'

He shakes his head. 'No.'

I sigh and sit down beside him, taking his hand in mine. It feels sticky and I pull it under the dim light. Scarlet liquid covers his hand and wrist. 'What the _fuck-_' I notice the cuts and look at his other hand which is clutching a small knife. I grab it from his hand and throw it to the floor angrily. 'I can't believe you.' I hiss and trace my wand gently over his wrist, whispering spells. His wounds seal up slowly, only leaving scars.

I take a deep breath to calm myself down. 'Come on. Let's wash off the blood please, Fred?' I request, resting a hand on his cheek. He turns his head to look at me.

'Juliet?'

'Fred your-'

'You're angry, aren't you?'

'We-ell I'm not exactly happy.' I sigh and pull him off the bed. He walks with me robotically till the washroom and I pull his hand under the tap, rinsing off his blood gently. His fingers curl around my wrist gently and he pulls my hand away. I look up at him and his arms slip around my waist and he leans in to turn off the tap. I hold my breath as his cheek rubs against mine. I feel his breath on the nape of my neck as he pushes away my still wet hair and kisses softly. His hand trails up my arm, leaving Goosebumps on my skin and he pulls away the sleeve, exposing my shoulder. He presses his lips to it gently. I close my eyes and lean into him, clutching his shirt lightly at the waist.

Not changing position, he pulls us out of the washroom and pushes me against the wall of the room. His lips meet mine with urgency and yearning. His fingers slip between mine and he pins my hands against the wall as he leaves my lips and kisses my neck instead. I sigh softly and tilt my head back as his lips move lower, to my chest. His fingers hook themselves into the hem of my shirt and he tugs it off. His arms circle my body and he pulls us into bed. I fumble with the buttons on his shirt and it's off in a few moments. My hands slip to his shoulders as his slip under me to undo my bra. His fingers work off the rest of my clothes making me feel self-conscious and nervous. My best friend was now baring me to make love to me. Fred. His lips are once more in my neck. He cups my breasts gently and I moan softly.

His thumbs rub my nipples and my nails trail his muscular chest, leaving red marks. He shifts lower and places his mouth where his thumb was and nibbles gently. I inhale sharply and arch my back, slipping my fingers into his hair.

'Mmm?' he responds moving to my other nipple. I moan in reply, losing any coherent thoughts. Without stopping what he is doing, he takes off his remaining clothes and suddenly I'm alert. His erection touches my thigh as he slides a knee between my legs and nudges them apart and the size scares me a bit.

'F- Fred i…' I mumble. He looks up at me and brings his face close to mine. His thumb traces my cheek softly and he looks into my eyes. 'What is it?' he asks gently.

'I- I've never done… this before.' I look down, my cheeks turning warm.

'I know that. I'll be gentle, I promise.' He breathes against my lips and kisses them briefly before pushing my legs apart and placing himself between my legs. His hands massage my breasts gently as he starts to push into me slowly. I close my eyes and clutch the bed sheet as he enters me and the pain starts to arise. I bite my lip to keep from crying out but tears line my eyes and trickle out as he breaks me. Fred leans forward and kisses my cheeks. 'Shh… it'll be over in just a few moments.' He promises and pushes in completely. I gasp out, half with pain and half with pleasure. My nails dig into his back and shoulders, leaving crescent shaped marks. 'Juliet it's okay. I'm here.' He whispers and kisses below my ear. He waits for me to adjust around him and then pulls himself out only a bit and then pushes back inside, sending a sweet sensation through my body that I never knew existed. He repeats, only more prolonged this time and I can only think that I want more of this feeling. 'More.' I whisper and Fred chuckles softly before starting a steady rhythm.

'Fred,' I choke out. 'Faster…' I raise my hips to meet his thrusts. 'Harder…'

He slams into me each time as I cry out his name like it's the only word I know. His breaths are rapid and he groans, increasing his pace. 'Fuck.' He moans and his nails dig into my arm, burying his face in my neck, gasping for breath, as am I, feeling like I'll lose my mind any second. He pushes into me more forcefully and sinks his teeth in to my neck as we both cum together, breathing hard.

We lie there like that for a few moments, just trying to gain back our senses. Fred slips off and lies down beside me, propping himself up in his arm and pulling me close. His index finger traces patterns on my cheeks and then he tilts my head up to look at him. His eyes meet mine, searching for something. 'Do you regret?' he asks quietly.

'No.' I whisper. 'Do- Do you?'

He slips an arm over my waist and rests his head on the pillow as I shift my head on his arm. 'I will never regret it.' he murmurs into my hair, holding me close.

**_Hope you enjoyed! Please review, even if its criticism. :*_**


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